The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So many bounce houses so little time
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
