he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
