don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
