Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
