I want to make a zoo with you.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
