She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he just fucked me for my cheese..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
