I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
