His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
