Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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