i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
