i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Congratulations! We have a period
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