honey bunches of taint.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have tasted many bathrooms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
