Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you didnt know i had herpes?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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