You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
