Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
