i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
