Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
