I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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