You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
