Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
