So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
