Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
