clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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