its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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