Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
