I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's never too late to be topless.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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