he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
