Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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