I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
