p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
