Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
