Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
