Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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