I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
