i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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