Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
