oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
