Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
