last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
