How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
