I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
