I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
