Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Hippo gnu deer
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
