Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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