Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
