its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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