He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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