shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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