i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
