Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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