Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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