I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
